How to identify if a person is a victim of gender violence? How can we help?

Nowadays, detecting gender violence exerted on oneself or other people in our social environment is often difficult. This is mainly due to the ignorance of the indicators of gender violence, or to judging or misinterpreting such situations because of myths and prejudices present in our society, and what we have learned.

There is a common perception that this violence only occurs when a man rapes, kills or hits a girl. However, there are many other ways in which gender violence is manifested that are not visible or recoverable as such. For this reason, this type of violence is considered an iceberg in which there are different ways that it manifests itself. It’s important to recognise all of them not as love, but as violence in order to the victims to get help and stop it.

Photo reference: https://workplace.ourwatch.org.au/why-do-this-work/understanding-violence-against-women/

What is the gender violence?  

According to the European Commission, gender violence is “violence directed against a person because of that person's gender or violence that affects persons of a particular gender disproportionately. Violence against women is understood as a violation of human rights and a form of discrimination against women and shall mean all acts of gender-based violence that result in, or are likely to result in physical harm, sexual harm, psychological, or economic harm or suffering to women”.

For the mentioned, gender violence includes some repeated conducts that damage the physical and moral integrity of women for the fact of being so. This situation generates a relation of inequality in power between women and men, which makes it difficult for women to end the situation of violence.  

Types of gender violence and their indicators:

1.      Physical violence. It is all acts of force exerted by a man against a woman's body, inflicting physical damage on the victim. This type of violence includes blows, wounds, fractures, scratches…

2.      Psychological violence. This type of violence is characterised by any conduct, verbal or nonverbal, that generates devaluation or psychic suffering in a woman through threats, humiliations, insults, isolation, blame, coercion… carried out by a man.

3.       Economic violence. This type of violence is based on the intentional deprivation of financial resources for the couple and their children. It is also considered as such when the victim is forced to depend economically on the aggressor, normally preventing the victim's access to the labour market through threat, coercion or physical restraint.  

4.      Sexual violence. Although it could be considered within physical violence, this type of violence includes all acts of a sexual nature that a woman performs in a non-consensual manner, whether there is physical violence or intimidation or not. In this type of violence it is not necessary that there is penetration because it also includes unwanted touching, among other things.

To identify all these types of violence, below are some of its indicators:   

Act of the aggressor	Type of violence
He gives you pushes and / or grips	Physical violence
Breaking your personal things
Pulls your hair
Violently expels you from the family home
Spits you down
Holds you strongly by the hand and won't let you go
Controls what you do, who you see, who you talk to, what you read and where you go by telling you what it is to protect yourself	Psychological violence
Blames you for provoking his violent behaviour
Threatens you with killing himself or leaving you if you don't do what he wants
He doesn't let you make important decisions by yourself
Frequently underestimates your opinions, beliefs or work
Prevents you from having contacts or staying with your family or friends
Blackmails you with spreading information that you don't want people to know
Disseminates photographs or other information that would damage your image
He accompanies you everywhere even without you wanting it
Shouts at you
Insults you
Shows you weapons to intimidate you and to do what he wants
Denies the abuse
He does not inform you of family income or prevents you from accessing them	Economic violence
He takes away the money you earn
He does not intentionally give you the money you need to afford family expenses
He prohibits you to work
He is the only one who makes economic decisions that affect both
Forces you to account for expenses even if you have your own income
He gives you money but with conditions such as having sex daily
Your boyfriend or husband forces you to have sex at a time you don't feel like it	Sexual violence
Refusing you to use condoms or protection
Having sexual contact with you when you are very drunk or drugged
Unwanted kisses or touching

It is important to pay attention to each of the indicators, however slight they may seem, because it allows one to know in which situation of gender violence the victim is in order to get help allowing even the beginning of this problem to be detected.

In fact, Ruiz (2016), with her theory of the cyclical ladder of violence, explains that gender violence constitutes a stepped process that begins with subtle forms of violence but that worsens over time until men have control and absolute dominion over women, conducting all kinds of violence. In the next graphical box is represented the three steps of cyclic ladder of violence theory, integrated by different behaviours.  

* Notes. In the first step, the violence gender is disguised as "love show" -behaviours, so the women does not suspect that there are signs of violence. In the second step, despite the women noticing of signs of violence by their boy, they have an emotional adherence with him that makes it difficult to break up, especially when the boy shows regret and promises to change. In the third step, the victim receives great violence from the man, and she is very afraid of him, which leads her not to consider the breakup for what could happen if she tries. In this way, the victim finds it difficult to escape the situation, being trapped in a relationship of violence. 

What can we do?

If we detect that another person may be a victim, we must show our support so that they perceive that they are not alone. We must try to establish a secure attachment bond, so that the victim feels that she can trust us and we are willing to help her in whatever she needs.  

We must take into account that the victim  is probably in a state of ambivalence in which she presents desires for wanting to break the relationship with the aggressor. However, at the same time she has feelings of continuing for the fear that the aggressor will harm her or for the hope that he will change and everything returns to be as before. In this situation it is important to show understanding at all times because denying the feelings and desires to continue the relationship will cause the woman to lose confidence in us. However, we can propose to make a list of the benefits and costs of both continuing the relationship and the break-up, helping her become aware of the situation.  

Therefore, it is about showing active listening and empathy for the victim without judging, criticising or blaming her for what she tells us. But this does not mean that we act as passive persons, but that we can also help by making the woman aware that the man is showing signs of violence towards her, providing other points of view about the fact.  

In addition, it would also be helpful to encourage self-efficacy in the victim, making her see that she can change the situation by going to professionals as well as filing a denunciation. At this point, it is especially important to show that it is normal for her to feel fear and concern about the reaction of the aggressor, but that it is necessary to end the problem of violence. However, we should also be reminded that you have our support and that you will not be alone in the process, in addition to having physical, legal and social protection measures.

Author:

Esperanza García Vergara

5th Year of the Double Bachelors Degree in Psychology and Criminology

University Loyola Andalucía (Spain)

References:

European Commission, official website of the European Union. What is gender- based violence? Recovered from: https://ec.europa.eu/info/policies/justice-and-fundamental-rights/gender-equality/gender-based-violence/what-gender-based-violence_en

Ruiz, C. (2016). Voces tras los datos: una mirada cualitativa a la violencia de género en adolescentes. Recovered from: https://www.observatoriodelainfancia.es/ficherosoia/documentos/4879_d_VocesDatos.pdf